OM

I was introduced to orgasmic meditation a few months ago, by a play partner, who had read about it, but had never experienced it. As I am prone to do, once I found out about it, I had to learn more.

What is it?

“OM is a unique wellness practice that combines mindfulness, touching, and pleasure.l

For the uninitiated, it’s a partnered experience of stroking around the clitoris for 15 minutes, with only one goal: let go and feel.

The stroking is meant to happen in an incredibly specific way — on the upper-left quadrant of the clitoris in an up-and-down motion, no firmer than you would stroke an eyelid. It’s done (usually) by male partners wearing latex gloves dipped or coated in lube. There is no stroking of male genitalia.” (https://www.healthline.com/health/orgasmic-meditation-101#TOC_TITLE_HDR_1)

It’s goal isn’t to achieve orgasm (though that has been known to happen), the purpose is to turn off your mind and simply feel. To feel pleasure and relax.

People who practice OM claim to experience increased happiness, less stress and anxiety, and have healthier, more connected relationships.

I practiced this with a new play partner who claimed to not have much clitoral sensitivity. After completing one 15-minute session, I had to agree. It seemed to have no impact on her.

However, when she returned a week later and I suggested we forego OMing as it didn’t seem to have much effect on her, she objected and informed me that her sexual experience and expression with her other partners was enhanced and more pleasurable after OMing one time.

Which brings up an important point. Part of the practice is to have a debrief after where both giver and receiver discuss what they experienced. In the experience mentioned above, my play partner didn’t realize the impact it had until days later.

How it works

Set up “nest”: Make sure your environment is comfortable and relaxing. That can be set up with a yoga mat, blanket, or firm cushion for the person stroking to sit on. (Some websites give very specific instructions on the nest and body positioning. I suggest following those instructions).

• Have some hand towels, a timer, and lube within reach.

• Get into a comfortable position.

• Set the timer for 15 minutes.

• The person doing the stroking should describe what they see in terms of color, texture, and location.

• The stroker should apply lube to their fingers, then ask the person being stroked if they’re ready. After verbal consent, the person stroking can begin stroking the upper left hand quadrant.

• When the timer dings at 15 minutes, the stroking stops.

• The stroker should apply pressure to their partner’s genitals using their hand until both participants feel back in their bodies.

• The stoker should use a towel to wipe lube from the genitals to the hands, then put nest away.

This isn’t foreplay. If you want to have sex after, move to a different location after the nest is put away.

People who practice OM claim to experience increased happiness, less stress, and anxiety, and have healthier, more connected relationships.