Tips from a Pleasure Dom #3: Take Care of Peripheral Details

It’s easy to get caught up in the act itself, the main event, even for a Pleasure Dom. Even if you get off by helping someone else get off, it’s easy to home in on getting to orgasm. But if that’s the only dimension you’re looking at, you won’t be maximizing anybody’s experience, including yours. 

One thing that has brought a lot of positive feedback is my attention to peripheral details. Things most people (usually, men) don’t consider. 

Peripheral details are less important, but they should never be ignored. They aren’t  the core focus, but they are essential in keeping the main thing, the main thing. .

We’re not talking about toys here. I’m talking about the details, the side items. The things that comprise the mental load that keeps your partner from completely letting go, surrendering to pleasure, and not worrying about anything so they can be at ease and open to an optimal experience. 

Here’s a starter list. Consider it and add whatever you think is missing. Share your additional ideas in the comments, so we can all benefit, please.  

Music - make it hands-free. In the moment, you want to voice command your best mood playlist. I use an Echo Dot connected to my Spotify account. I have multiple playlists curated for the right mood.

Mood lighting - there are lots of things you can do for this, I have a couple of star and nebula projectors in different corners of the room. They give just the right level of light and project cool images on the ceiling. Here’s a link.

Waterproof mattress cover - you don’t want anyone worrying they’re going to make a mess if they squirt (you, her, him, everyone). If you have a high-quality mattress cover that’s waterproof under your sheets, nobody has to worry about a mess. And try not to worry about the mess. Who cares? This isn’t a time to be a neat-freak. Lexie tells me of one experience she refers to as “clean sheets guy”. After squirting, he got completely disconbobulated and got up and immediately started taking the sheets of the bed to wash them. They were still in the act. Talk about a boner killer. 

Tall bedframe - This gives advantages when it comes to positions and can amplify stamina. You can stand on the floor, while your partner remains in a comfortable, sustainable position. Because sometimes you need to switch it up to keep going. 

Sex-friendly furniture or fixtures - one of my favorites is a sex swing, and what makes it better are strategically placed weight-bearing hooks placed in different places in different rooms. If you’re worried about what visitors might think, just own it and tell them what they’re for. Are you a Pleasure Dom or aren’t you? I suppose you could lie and say they’re plant hooks, though it’s hard to explain a plant hook in the middle of the living room.

Sex towels - within reach of wherever you end up. I got a couple of 12-packs of white wash cloths at Costco. I keep them in both nightstands. Great for quick clean-ups on aisle 5. 

Condoms - first, get a vasectomy, because why not? But even if you do, you’ll want condoms to minimize worry about STIs and for use in anal play. I advise buying them in bulk. Amazon has a 50-pack. You’re going to use them, so might as well stock up. Have them at the ready, in the bedroom, your backpack, your car, your kitchen, etc. I have a little decorative copper dish with a lid that keeps them out of sight but accessible. 

Get tested and share your results - I’ve used the “Let’s Get Checked” app. It’s a subscription service with an at-home self-test for both blood and urine. It comes every 3 months, and I also get checked with my annual physical. The nice thing about the app is that it’s easy to share results with partners. This has been a big builder of trust, as I offer it without being asked. Again, this is mental load that you’re taking on, so your partner doesn’t have to.

Breath mints - keep a pack in both nightstands. It’s the little things that make the biggest difference, and you never know when you’ll wake up in the middle of the night, both ready to go. 

Toothbrushes - get the multipack at someplace like Costco, so there’s always one there for sleepovers. 

Tampons - if you don’t have supplies, you don’t deserve dates.

Snacks - what does your partner like to snack on? You gotta maintain that energy, or you’ll have to tap out before you’re ready. 

Water - make sure you have water for your partner so they can get a drink, and keep it refilled. Dehydration is dangerous and saps your energy faster than you realize. 

Clean environment - clean your place, especially every inch of the bathroom. Clean your kitchen, vacuum the floor, and the furniture. Dust surfaces and clean the windows. If you have pets, look deeply at how clean your place is. Cleanliness is next to sexgodliness. And a dirty place is a clit/boner killer. 

There you go. Another tip - a few actually. Follow for more and check out The Cliteral Truth Podcast and TheCliteralTruth.com